Rough Times can Hurt
by HeyItsJazmine
Summary: Quinn finds refuge in a unlikely friend an own character, Mia Hoffman. Selected scenes from Seasons 1, 2 and 3. Hope you enjoy, I'm currently writing for pleasure and publishing my best works, so comments/reviews would be nice! DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the songs featured in RTCH. Or Glee. That belongs to King Falchuck.
1. Confessions

I stepped into the bathroom, and turned on the tap. Inspected my mascara. Dried my hands on the tissue paper. I heard a sniffing coming from one of the cubicles. I stopped moving, and cocked my head on one side. The door slowly unlocked, and Quinn Fabray stepped out, looking like hell.

'Hey Fabray, what's up?' I asked airily.

'Don't – even – ask,' she growled, washing her face. I frowned, concerned.

'Wow. Normally you would have slusheed me by now. Something must be wrong,'

'Hoffman, just leave me alone,'

'No, I'm worried about you,' I scrambled up onto the basin counter, so I was perched on the side, and patted the space next to me. 'Come on, you can tell me.'

'You really don't wanna know,' she told me sceptically, but climbing up on to the space next to me anyway. As I stared at her intently, trying to work out what could make her so vulnerable like this, (the Quinn Fabray I knew would have slusheed me within seconds of seeing my face) I watched her green eyes fill with tears, once again. I put my arms around her, and I felt her begin to cry again into my hoodie.

'Hey, shhh, shhh,' I rocked her slowly, moving my hand up and down her cheer uniform-clad back in a repetitive motion. Her sobs died down, and she rested her head on my shoulder. A little uncomfortable, I stroked her soft, blonde hair. I noted that it smelt like cedarwood.

'I'm... pregnant,' she confessed.

'God.' I exclaimed, and her tears started all over again. 'Woahh... Quinn!'

'Don't remind me!' she whimpered, snivelling into my hoodie. I wiped away her tears with my thumb, and tried not to think about how awkward this was. After a little while, the bell for fifth period went, and I softly tipped her head off my shoulder.

'Do you... want to talk about it? Maybe it would help,' I asked gently, as I hopped off the counter, and gave Quinn my hand to help her off. She was maybe... a couple of weeks, perhaps a month, but she was already becoming less fit, and by Christmas, she wouldn't be able to wear that Cheerios uniform.

'Okay,' she said, washing her face again. She looked embarrassed. I suddenly realized something.

'Quinn... who's the baby's daddy?' She dropped her books, binder and pencil case, and dashed back into the cubicle. I heard her throw up. I dumped my stuff too, and ran into the cubicle to comfort her. 'Calm down, calm down, you're going to be ok,' She was sobbing again, and I threw my arms around her and held her.

'I'm not ready for this!' She retched again, and I squeezed her hand. It was hot and clammy, not the kind of hand I would imagine the cheer captain to have.

'Yes you are, Quinn, you have to tell me. It will help you,' I coaxed. 'Come on. You don't always have to be the strong one.' She shook her head and sat down on the closed toilet, her whole body shuddering. 'It's not Finn Hudson, is it? I can tell it isn't,'

'No... it's Puck,' she admitted, tears streaming down her face.

'What? You mean Puckerman? Noah Puckerman? Badass Puckerman?'

'Y-yeah...' Quinn said shamefully.

'You slept with Puckerman? Quinn, this is bad!'

'Don't you think I know that already!?' she exploded, before bowing her head, regretting what she had said.

'I'm sorry,' I said. 'Hey... does anybody else know?'

'About... it? No, nobody but you,'

'Can I tell you something?' I asked quietly.

'Sure,'

'Quinn, in a couple of months your life is going to become hell. You're going to be slusheed every day. And you're going to need a place of refuge, where people don't think badly of you. Which is why I think you should join New Directions,' She raised her eyebrows at me sceptically. 'I'm serious! Trust me, you don't know how hard it's going to get.'

'And you would...?' she retorted.

'Actually, yes. My older sister had a teenage pregnancy five years ago.' I said coldly. There was an awkward silence between us.

'Sorry,' she apologised. Then, 'What... happened to her?'

'She died in childbirth.' I said expressionlessly.

'Oh, Mia... I'm so sorry... I didn't know...' I swallowed and bowed my head. 'Really, if I'd known... I... you're really brave,' she flustered for words. I said nothing. 'For you to not show any of that... none of us knew... that's really strong,' As I heard the words I've heard a thousand times, it all came flooding back. I felt my eyes fill with hot tears and I knew the roles were about to be reversed; I would be the one weeping and Quinn would be the one soothing me. She tipped my head onto her shoulder as I had just minutes ago, and she let me sob into her Cheerios uniform. The memories came back in a torrent of tears, sympathetic eyes, and Lily. Just Lily.

_ 'Mia Hoffman? Is Mia Hoffman in this class?' The eleven-year-old me leaps up, raising my hand excitably. _

_ 'I'm here, Ms Wilton!'_

_ 'Good! Mia, your mom is here to pick you up!'_

_ 'She is?' I frown, confused. Mom works a day shift at Cecilia's Bakery, she never picks me up during school. The only reason I can think of would be... but she's not due for another month... I follow Ms Wilton down the childish, elementary-school hallways, stumbling blindly as Ms Wilton stares at me with a forced, fake smile. We enter the lobby._

_ 'Mia! Oh, thank God!' Mom pulls me into a tight squeeze, and I half-heartedly wrap my arms around her. _

_ 'Mom, what's... why are you here? Is there something wrong with Lily?' I ask, but Mom shakes her head. _

_ 'Is it ok if I take her? ...She might not be back,' Mom asks Ms Wilton, tapping my head. She nods cheerily. I feel sick._

_ 'Ok, let's go, hon!' _

_ 'Wait, don't I need my stuff? Like, my books and all that?' I ask._

_ 'No, no, you'll be fine.' She grabs my hand and pulls me out of the lobby, and I leap into our old pickup truck. _

_ 'So why am I here?' I ask, as we speed through the traffic, and I try to work out where she's driving to. _

_ 'Ok. I want you to be very strong. You need to be strong for me, ok?' I nod sincerely, like the eleven-year-old I am. 'Are you sure you're ready for this?' I nod again. 'Right. Lily... is in hospital... and she's in a very dangerous condition. She had to go in early.' _

_ 'Okayyy...' _

_ 'And... Mia, you have to be brave... the doctors think she might not make it,'_

_ 'You mean... like not **make** it?'_

_ 'Yes.' There's silence, until we pull into the parking lot at Lima Community Hospital. I scramble out of the truck, and race into the hospital lobby, holding hands._

_ 'I'm Zooey Hoffman, mother of Lily Hoffman, in the Special Maternity Unit,' Mom says briskly to the nurse. She waves goodbye to me, and I plop down into a squashy armchair breathlessly._

_ 'Can I get you anything?' asks the receptionist, also too cheery. 'Some fruit juice? A biscuit, maybe?' I shake my head speechlessly. Her false grin fades a little, which I am pleased to see._

_ I spend six whole hours sitting here, not talking, not walking, not even reading the creepy magazines on display. Six whole hours. As Mom turns the corner, with my spectacled father, I jump up and wrap my arms around them. Mom has tears streaming down her face. So does Dad. Then I notice I'm crying silent tears too. Mom squeezes me tight, like she's taking out her sadness on me. Then, it hit me. Lily was _**GONE**_. We would never again cry with laughter while watching hilarious YouTube videos. Clutch each other and scream when Nagini attacks Harry. Share a knowing glance __when one of our little cousins says something unintentionally inappropriate. Sing our favorite songs, using hairbrushes as microphones. She was gone. I would never see her... ever again._

I realized I was crying properly again now, into Quinn's Cheerios uniform, and I was supposed to be in Spanish. I was pretty sure Rachel would cover for me, though.

'Mia?' Quinn's eyes were dry now, unlike my own. 'Will you... help me get through this? My... issue, I mean? I know... I've kind of been a bitch to you and... you're normally the last person I'd ask for help, but... ' I stood up and picked up my Spanish notebooks, brushing myself down with a mental hand.

'Yeah, of course. If I couldn't help Lily, I can at least help somebody who's in the same position as Lily,' I said. 'Deep breaths, okay? You'll be fine,' I assured her. I took a deep breath myself, and pushed open the bathroom door. We stepped into the river of students together, and I was immediately pushed back by Jacob Ben Israel.

'Oh, wow! SCOOP! Cheer captain hanging out with Glee club loser!' he announced loudly. 'How do you feel?' I slapped him, hard, with my spare hand.

'Shove off, Jacob.' I hissed. Quinn stepped back, looking bewildered. 'What?' I said.

'Wow, you're like, badass, Hoffman!' she told me. I raised my eyebrows.

'Thanks...?'

'You know, for somebody in Glee club, you're not actually that bad,' was the verdict. I snorted. 'No, really! Perhaps I will join,'

'Good. Wanna meet up at the Lima Bean this afternoon? More girl chats?' I offered. Her eyes lit up. 'Cool. 4pm? I'll see you there!' We waved to each other, until she melted into the crowd. Jacob was staring intently at me from a doorway. I pulled a ferret face at him, and he scuttled away.


	2. Slushees and Socializing

Three days later, I found Quinn trembling, in the middle of a circle of Cheerios. They each held a tall plastic cup with condensation dribbling down the sides. Uh-oh. I knew that cup much, much too well.

'Fabray, what the hell were you doing, auditioning for _Loser Club_?' _Quinn auditioned? Wow, good for her!_ I thought.

'I didn't... I didn't audition!' Quinn mumbled. I could tell she was in distress. I forced myself to keep watching.

'Yes you did, bitch! We all know you did!' another Cheerio leered.

'Yeah, and now you're gonna pay!' I closed my eyes. _No. This can't be happening_, I thought. _Not to Quinn... not now..._ The crushing noise of Slushees hitting their target forced me to open my eyes. The Cheerios were gone, hurrying down the hallway in a fit of giggles and mockery. I darted up to Quinn, who was sitting on the floor, crying yet again, her head in her hands, and her back against the wall. I crouched down next to her.

'Quinn?... Quinn, shh! I know it hurts, but we can get you cleaned up! Shh.' For the second time in a week, I found myself holding Quinn Fabray, who was, like, my worst enemy in the world a week ago. I rubbed her back, trying to calm her down. 'Come on.' I held out my hand to pull her up, and she took it. Together, we walked back into the disused bathroom where we had met last week. A upturned bucket was lying in the corner, and I brought it over to the basin for Quinn to sit on. I gently tipped her head back into the sink and started to wash the icy-cold mixture and her tears out of her hair and face.

'I s-swear, I am never d-doing that ag-gain, to anybody,' she managed to choke out. I put my finger over her lips to quieten her.

'Quinn, did you audition for Glee Club?' I asked gently. She nodded, sitting up. 'How did it... go? Did you get in?' She nodded again. 'That's good. Really good. Because you're gonna need somebody to lean on.'

'Yeah, but... then I'll get Slusheed for being pregnant AND being in Glee...' she said miserably. 'My life is a wreck. And to top it all off... Finn is probably cheating on me.' I almost chuckled.

'Well, Q, you did cheat on him... and you're carrying Puck's child. If you feel bad because he's kissing some chick, imagine how he'll feel when he finds out you're parents of the same baby! Who do you think he's cheating on you with?'

'That bitch, Rachel Berry,' Quinn spat out. 'That's partly why I joined Glee Club. To watch him and make sure.'

'Quinn, this isn't right! If you're both cheating on each other, then you're both not happy with each other, which means you both need to break up with each other!' Quinn looked down. 'I'm sorry. I know you're having a really rough couple of weeks. But I mean it, okay? You need to end this relationship.' She sighed.

'I guess so,' I stood up and unzipped my Riley messenger bag, pulling out a fluffy lime-green towel to dry Quinn's hair. When it was still damp but not totally dry, I put the towel away and produced a hairbrush and scraped it back into her usual high pony for her. 'Thanks.' she said stiffly, standing up.

'Quinn... like I said, you don't always have to be the strong one. You have to accept that, and you have to let people look after you.' I _sighed._

'You know I'm not used to letting people look after me. I grew up on my own.'

'You have to let go.'

'Maybe I'm not ready to let go.' I snorted.

'Not want to let go of a past you hated?' Quinn looked up, surprised. Then she realized I'd caught her off-guard and pretended to look confused. 'Oh, don't give me that. I know about your past.' She sighed, and gave up.

'How?'

'Lily.'

'What?'

'She, um... she also got a transfer here. When... when she got pregnant. She also went to your old school.'

'Right.' There was an awkward silence. I stood up and coughed.

'Do you think you'll be okay now?' I asked. 'We can go to lunch together if you want,' I offered.

'No thank you, I'll manage,' she said uncomfortably.

'Okay, then, bye...'

'Bye.'

_How did she... oh crap. She probably thinks I'm a freak now. She's right, though, it was a past I hated. Damn it, now I've lost the one friend I actually have. Wait, is she a friend? She's an odd character, she seemed fine towards me when we first talked last week, in the bathroom, then when her sister came up as a topic of conversation, she completely lost it. Yeah, that was awkward. I don't know; I really need somebody to lean on, like she said. Santana and Brittany have already left me. You know, I think there's something going on between them... No. That isn't a good mindset. I need to focus on what I'm going to do with my friggin' life now it's all screwed up... Lunch. Choose lunch. Avoid thinking about …_baby _by planning low-carb lunch. Right. Salad. Always good._


	3. Settled for Now

It was a bleak, miserably, drizzly Sunday evening in September and I was lying on my stomach, doing my math homework and watching 90210, when I heard my phone vibrate from the pocket of my knee-length duffle coat, which was lying on the back of the couch. I bounced up and grabbed the coat.

-_need help, real bad. meet me hot choc van in park in 5? :'( Q xxx_

I texted back as quick as I could.

-_will b right there. deep breaths, k? M x_

I seized the coat and hurled it on, switched off the television, and yelled up the stairs.

'MOM, GOING OUT!' I called.

'Kay, don't be long!' was the reply.

'Won't!' I rammed my feet into my UGG boots and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I arrived at the hot chocolate van in the park completely out-of-breath and tired, but at least warm, despite the cold December air. I saw Quinn perched on a bench, wearing jeans, a zipped up fleece, and Chucks. Her hair was plaited in two and her hands were thrust into her pockets. I jogged towards her. She looked up, and as her gaze fell on me, she sprinted over to me. She threw her arms around me and sobbed uncontrollably into my duffle coat, and I lead her back to the bench.

'Mia, my life is crap,' she howled into the wind. The park was empty apart from the hot chocolate van, which I was pleased about. I squeezed her back.

'Talk to me. Tell me all about it,' I invited. And she did. In just one hour, I learnt how Finn had come round for dinner, sung to her parents, who discovered that she was pregnant... and kicked her out of the house. She was homeless.

'Well, that's easy to sort out!' I encouraged. 'We have a spare room, and it's just Mom and me at home. Would that be okay? I mean, it's not that big of a room, and our house is a mess, but...'

'Mia, that would be perfect!' Quinn said, sniffing, and wiping away her tears.

'Awesome. Let me just call Mom to check...' I stood up and retrieved my phone from my pocket again. Tired, I punched in our home number, and walked away from Quinn so that she couldn't hear the conversation.

'Hello, Hoffman residence?' Mom' cheery voice broke the silence between the phone and my ear. I took a breath.

'Hi, Mom...'

'Mia?'

'Mom, Quinn-'

'Hang on, who's Quinn?' I bit my lip. 'Oh, wait, _Quinn_? Yeah, what about her?'

'She's, uh, homeless right now. And, I said she could stay with us for a little while, at least until the baby's born and we can fix her up somewhere... I know, I know, I should have asked you first, but she literally doesn't have a home right now-'

'You asked her if she wanted to stay with us?' _Silence._

'Yes.'

'Hon, of course she can. I'm proud of you for being such a great friend. I'll bet she's cold, so I'll get some hot chocolate and cookies ready for you, I'll get the fireplace up, I'll prepare her room, oh, there's so much to do, take as long as you like getting back, chick-'

'_Okay_, Mom,' I said, smiling. 'See you soon, 'kay?' I flicked the phone off.

'Quinn?' I called. 'Let's go.'

I poked my key into the front door, and pushed it open.

'Hey, Mom? Home!' And then, to Quinn: 'Come on in.' She had never been to our home before, and I could see her drinking in the atmosphere. I personally loved the atmosphere of our house, it was small and cosy and it had a big fireplace and just three rooms downstairs (the bathroom, kitchen and den) and four upstairs (the three bedrooms, and Mom's studio). Mom's oil paintings were hanging everywhere on the walls, including one of the four of us when Lil was still alive and Dad still lived at home. I was a chubby toddler, and seven-year-old Lily had a cheesy grin on her face and was clutching me while I squirmed. Mom was sitting on the floor next to Lily, and Dad had one arm around her while trying to make me smile. Mom had painted it when we lived back in Vermont, with the help of a photograph Dad's friend had taken. I loved it.

'Your house is beautiful,' Quinn said in awe, looking round. I grinned.

'Thanks.'

'Girls?' Mom called from the kitchen. She came out, with a tea-tray full of home-baked cookies and mugs of steaming hot chocolate, but when she saw Quinn and I, she put them down on my guitar footstool (don't ask what it was doing downstairs, I normally play it in my room) and put her arms around Quinn and squeezed her tightly. I could see Mom was being reminded of my sister every second – well, I wasn't surprised, Quinn was the spitting image of Lily. She took Quinn by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.

'Quinn, I want you to know that you're always welcome in our home, okay? No matter what the situation is or what your problem is, we'll always be here.'

'Thanks, Mrs Hoffman.'

'Call me Zooey. Now, I've got your room ready, and you can go up any time you want, you're probably tired. Or I've got you some cookies and hot chocolate here for you?'

'That would be great,' I picked up the tray and directed Quinn into the den, where we curled up in front of the fire place. Mom came in too and sat on the couch. She seemed desperate to find out everything about Quinn and to make her feel as at home as she could – which made me feel a little left out, but I didn't really care, as I had my best friend living in the same house as me. That made me happy.

When it got late, Mom showed Quinn where everything was, and lent her some of Lily's old pajamas, as they had a similar build. That made me feel a little bit disrespectful, but as I lay in bed that night, I realized that this was what Lily would have wanted. For the same reason, I had never visited her grave. I knew that Lily wouldn't want me moping around, missing her, she would want me up and about, celebrating life. I tossed and turned in bed, trying to get to sleep. It had been a long day and I was frustratedly trying to think of a way to get Quinn's possessions back – they were all in her room at her old home. School was tomorrow and she wouldn't have any of her clothes or notebooks. Hearing a sudden yell, I sat up abruptly. I knew from nine years of living here that the yell was coming from the spare room, and I climbed out of bed, shoved my feet into my slipper boots, and silently tiptoed down the hallway.

'Quinn?' I knocked on the door, and pushed it open when there was no reply. 'Quinn?' She was sat up in bed, crying soundless tears with her head in her hands. Thankfully Mom was a heavy sleeper. 'Quinn, calm down, it's going to be okay, you're going to be okay. Just stay strong, I'm here for you, we'll make it through this!'

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so scared... I just want it to stop...' she choked out.

'I know, hon, I know...' Still rubbing Quinn's back, I fished my phone out from my robe pocket and tapped the screen until it came up with Mercedes' number. I flicked 'call'. 'Quinn, stay here, I'm going downstairs for a sec', okay? Try and get some sleep.' I tiptoed back downstairs.

'Awww, Mia, what the hell? Do you even know what time it is?' Mercedes said sleepily.

'Yeah, Mercedes, I do, and I'm sorry, but I need help. Big help.'

'And that would be...?'

'Basically... Quinn needs to get some sleep but she's too busy worrying about... everything.' I pictured Mercedes' jaw dropping when she realized Quinn now lived with me, but I moved on. 'So what do I do? Help!'

'Girl, knock her out!' I put my hand on my hip, then realized Mercedes couldn't see me. 'No? Okay, sorry. Oh, I know! Sing to her! We are in Glee club, after all...'

'Thanks Mercedes, but maybe not.' I sighed, and hung up. But actually... I ran back upstairs, still noiselessly, and slipped back into Quinn's room. She was lying on her stomach, with her chin in her hands. I perched on the side of the bed and began to sing quietly.

'_I heard there was a secret chord, that David played, and it pleased the Lord, but you don't really care for music, do you?' _Quinn started to hum along with me. '_And it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift, the baffled king composing Hallelujah...' _I watched her carefully, wanting to know what her reaction to my choice of song was. '_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelu-u-jah.' _I observed that she stopped humming as I began the second verse. '_Your faith was strong, but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty and the moonlight over threw you...' _Still massaging Quinn's back, I felt her breathing get slower and heavier. '_She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah,' _I was pretty sure Quinn was asleep now, but I finished the chorus simply because it was a song both me and Lily had loved. I chose it to play at her funeral. _'Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelu-u-jah.'_ I flicked off the bedroom light and made my way to the door. 'Goodnight, Quinn.' I said softly, and sneaked back to bed, where I texted Mercedes.

-_chose hallelujah, ty xxx m_

I smiled as I imagined Mercedes growling at her vibrating phone, and closed my eyes.


End file.
